a door to be opened

Just finished watching an interesting movie. I think I like it so much because I guess I can see myself in the character. The whole movie is about the anger of the main character and how her anger permeates to affect the rest of the people.

I am not trying to say that I am just entirely full of anger, but it is her hardness I identify with. She is hardened by hurt. She distances herself to protect herself. It seems as though people can't reach her yet the very one that does isn't so much trying to break through her hard exterior. He is just there. Repeatedly.

I suppose so often that is exactly what I crave. I want someone to be there for me. Sure, I may seem hardened on the outside, but really inside there is an insecurity, a hurt, fear and all of those other things. But who wants to let that show? It seems much "easier" to lock that all away and close the door.

The downside is that others only see the hard surface of the door and may never actually see inside.