invitation

Dang! Why do I hear the "well, you can come if you want to" invitation as not an invitation but more as an after thought. I long to be included in things and yet when someone presents the inclusion in such a way that sounds like I will just be a burden or am unwanted, I will just refuse. If you want to invite me, invite me. Don't invite others in the room and then throw that out there like some kind of scrap, "well, you can come if you want to."