here

So here I sit, Sunday night, and wonder what this week will bring. I am starting to feel more and more frustrated about life here and trying to figure out how to make it all work. I sense that I should be taking greater strides to make things happen and I cannot seem to get my mind wrapped around what the next step is.

I suppose I wish people cared about me being back here in the states. Too many days, I feel lonely and want to move my life back to Peru. I enjoyed my days there. It felt familiar. I miss the sounds, the people, the traffic, life. Here, it all seems unfamiliar. I am never sure where to turn. I feel as though I don't have anyone to turn to.

Sure there are moments that I enjoy seeing people and talking with them. But that ends. No one seems genuinely interested in my presence here, just in the moment at hand. So, a missionary comes home to visit, and I know there is a sense of needing to connect. A limited time. But here, I sit, without a time limit and cannot seem to make a move.

So, all this to say I am lonely, confused, hurt and want to pack my bags to head back down south.