Learn to Lose?

"In America, we teach people how to acquire things, but we don't teach how to lose them,"

Bishop F. Josephus Johnson II said. Johnson is the senior pastor of The House of the Lord in Akron Ohio. This church is home to Patty Porter, mother of Jesse Marie Davis, the pregnant 26-year-old Lake Township, Ohio, woman whose body was found June 23, 10 days after she disappeared.

I was struck by this comment. At times I experience the clash between wanting to acquire and seeing the benefit in losing things. Even in the last few days I have seen that play out. I returned from the jungle with over 30 pounds of fruit including plantains, carambola, jungle mandarins and oranges. When I asked my friends what they did with their large containers of fruit, one admitted that while her family was consuming it, her mom was also giving it away bit by bit to visitors. Yesterday, someone visited and brought even more fruit! I have had the opportunity to give some away to people that visit my house and for whatever reason I could not.

I realize that fruit has no comparison with a life and that my giving away would be completely voluntary while so many people lose things involuntarily. But I am struck by the reality that Americans in general live to acquire more and must learn how to lose in order to be healthy, sane humans.

I was drawn back to the article I found on cnn.com and read it out loud to those at my house (translated into Spanish of course!).

The reality, Johnson said, is that life amounts to an unending series of losses. "From the moment that we come out of our mother's womb, there's a loss. There's a loss of connection. ... And then all along, we lose as we grow up. We lose friends, we change grades, we lose toys, we lose pets. ... As you get into later life, we lose hair, we lose strength. ... So life can be viewed as a series of losses, but yet America is much more concerned about what we acquire than it is about what we lose."

As a result, well-meaning people often make unhelpful remarks to grieving people.

"One of the things we say a lot is, 'Time will heal all wounds.' And time really does not heal anything," Johnson said. "We give the example in Grief Recovery that if we believe time heals things, then when you get a flat tire, just go out and get a chair and sit by it and see whether the flat fixes itself. It's not going to do that. You have to make informed decisions and choices in order to be able to heal certain things."

Part of the problem, he said, is that Americans tend to try to work through things intellectually rather than emotionally.

"When you have an event that brings emotional loss, you cannot think your way through that, you have to feel your way through it. It's like going into a dark room: You can't think your way through that room, you have to put your hands out and feel your way through it."

And although he says we often bring grief upon ourselves by making poor decisions that have bad consequences, Johnson acknowledges that bad things happen to good people.

"The redeeming factor is that God is going to redeem the world one day, and nothing that happens to us in this life is final in terms of where we're going to spend eternity," he said.

"God will redeem those things. He will one day right every wrong. But in the meantime, we are facing still some of the things that are going on because in the fall, the devil himself, now understanding that he is not going to win, is more active than he has ever been."

Just Listen!!!

Sometimes it seems we complicate the idea of hearing the voice of God or discerning the will of God. I think that what is behind the complication is the basic desire or lack of desire to hear Him or not. When we seem to have in mind a multitude of options or solutions to an issue, we make the hearing difficult. When we want one answer and that is the very thing He speaks to us, we seem to accept it without hesitation. Truly when we have fewer choices or options it is just simpler to hear Him. When we have all of these ideas, options in mind it is almost as if we want to offer them back to God instead of simply accepting what He says to us in the first place.

I felt similarly in many stores in the United States on my recent visit. Let's say I asked for a "grande americano." Mind you, I can no longer say "grande" without rolling my "r" and the "baristas" often look back at me quizzically. So I ask for my americano and instead of telling me that is it $2.00 and waiting for the payment, they proceed with a variety of other questions.

Barista: "Do you need any other coffee drinks?"
Me: "No thanks."
Barista: "Any pastries to go with that today?"
Me: "No just the coffee, thanks."
Barista: "Would you like to purchase a gift card?"
Me: "No, the coffee is all."

I am not sure how you feel about the onslaught of options but I just felt like my original request was not really heard or accepted. Instead of trusting me that I know what I need or want, they would offer me the rest of the store. Sure, sure...I know this is all part of good marketing and sometimes it does in fact work with customers, but I do not believe it is the way we should respond to God.

God does not exactly just request things of us, He speaks to us and requires obedience. Yet many times it seems like we respond as the barista responded to me. When we don't like His instructions we ask Him if there is any other way to accomplish something. When we don't like His timing, we ask if there is a way He could change things sooner...or later. When we don't really want to be pushed out of out comfort zone, we ask if someone else could complete the task. It is not so much that God does not speak to us, it has more to do with whether or not we choose to hear Him and accept when He says to us.

Ahhhh, The Tulip Festival

When I arrived to Iowa...yes! IOWA...I was cheerfully told that the next morning we would be awaking early in order to go to the Tulip Festival! Orange City, Iowa is famous for it's tulips and the Dutch traditions that go along with these flores.

So, as the sun was beginning to rise, we did as well. Orange City was awaiting us! I was introduced to a number of new things including wood carved shoes, poffertjes (baby pancakes) and other Dutch foods including Willemina Peppermints (YUM!).

What fun it was to be Dutch for a day!

I Ate Snake

Sometimes people have these crazy ideas which appear as a passing whim. My friend's idea was that she wanted to eat snake and that desire just never went away. So...